Restless in Writersland

It’s been months now that I’ve been plagued with restlessness. I still haven’t found something to quiet it. I have all these things I want to get done, yet no desire to actually do the physical work.

I love to cook, but right now I dread cooking.

I love to write, but right now I dread writing. I’m forcing myself to write this blog post because if I was writing every time I was thinking about writing, I’d have written 100 novels by now. I have to start somewhere and all of you get to come along for the ride.

I love to read and yet I haven’t felt the desire to pick up a book. I even stopped reading partway through a book by one of my favorite authors because I just couldn’t get into it. What?! I’d been waiting 4 years for the book to come out, have been reading the series since 2003, and I struggled for 3 weeks to read 160 pages. Then I gave up and returned it to the library.

I bought some new CDs with birthday money I’d been hoarding since October. I think it’s been more than a year since I bought a CD. The only time I’ve listened to them is when I’ve been in the car with the kids.

Art projects are lining themselves up on my craft table (which is just a folding table I’ve set up in my office so I have a surface where I can leave unfinished projects). Scrapbooking, sewing, jewelry. I’ve scribbled some notes about book ideas in my journal. I’ve pulled a bunch of clutter off my bookshelves and started boxing things up with the crazy idea that I’m going to refinish my bedroom furniture, shelves included. I even have plans to build my own bed with some unwanted wood a friend has in her backyard.

Not one project has been finished.

I’m contemplating ripping out the carpeting in my living room and attempting to lay down laminate wood floors. Someone, please talk me out of it!

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It’s a Crazy Life

I have been a bad, bad girl as far as blogging goes. I haven’t even been able to keep up with the reading of other people’s blog posts. This is a crazy time of year for me. We’ve got Christmas, which having 2 kids in school has made infinitely more complicated, and then both kids’ birthdays.

The good news is, I am done Christmas shopping. Kids, niece and nephew, all the grandparents, and 3 teachers. Done! And I just got the final package from Amazon with the birthday presents. Once my Christmas card order gets here, I will be done waiting for packages. We still have one Kindergarten “Holiday Concert” to attend, one pre-school Christmas party to attend and bring food for and one Kindergarten party to provide food for.

I have been going for Physical Therapy for the last 6 weeks. It is awesome and I am pain free most days. We are still working on my “neuromuscular re-education” as they put it, but it works. I have 2 appointments a week to schedule into my weeks, around the times for school drop-offs, bus stop drop-offs, shopping without kids time, and Caylie’s doctors’ appointments.

Caylie started seeing a counselor about a month ago, so I’ve been carting my kids to that appointment once a week. And we are seeing a Behavior Specialist once a month for Caylie as well, which I’m factoring into the juggling act of my appointment/commitment schedule.

Most recently, my insomniac almost 6 year old has developed some kind of phobia about going to sleep. So after a couple of months of being able to sleep through the night, we are back to sleep deprivation and the new behavior of our child having a major panic attack at bed time.

That’s been my life between blog posts. Oh, and I’m almost done with the first draft of my novel. I think, if I can actually get some writing time in when Mike’s on vacation for Christmas, I can have it finished by the end of the month! Take that, crazy, boring life! Bam!

Merry Christmas everyone! And Happy Holidays if you celebrate something else, or nothing at all! I’ll catch you again next year.

A Thousand Words for Love

I think husbands and fathers don’t get enough credit sometimes. Oh, I hear a ton of stories from women’s mouths about all the things their husbands aren’t doing right or just aren’t doing. (Aren’t is such a weird word… aren’t.) But I feel like there aren’t (there it is again!) enough stories about what husbands and fathers are doing right. I could never be the mother I am or even the woman I am without my husband. So I want to share all the “right” things that my husband does.

litebarI saw this photo and “quote” on Pinterest a while ago. I pinned it because it’s so true. I wish I did have a thousand words of love to say to Mike when he is doing everything right (which is most of the time) because he deserves to hear them.

But then I realized that there are a thousand words for love. Love means different things to different people. And I’m going to share all my love words for my husband with you.

Mike,

  • You listen when I need to talk
  • You laugh with me when I’m happy
  • You’re quiet when I need to cry
  • You hold me when I need it and you hold me when I don’t know I need to be held
  • You understand my sense of humor, my crazy emotions, my moods and thought process, my needs and wants – you understand everything that makes me me
  • You take the kids somewhere just so I can be alone in the quiet and think
  • You support me, provide for me and pay the bills so I won’t get stressed out about money
  • You like my cooking and praise me for it constantly
  • You thank me when I do something as mundane as the laundry, or running the dishwasher
  • You are always smiling and have a positive outlook about everything in your life and in our life together
  • You are courageous
  • You are strong in both body and mind
  • You work hard
  • You are trustworthy and trusting
  • You are my best friend, my lover, my confidant
  • You are respectful, thoughtful, considerate and kind
  • You are always there when I need you
  • You do the dishes because you know that I hate doing them
  • You treat me with respect – always
  • You have never, ever said something horrible to me when we argue or made me feel badly about myself when I’ve made a mistake
  • You admit when you’re wrong
  • You are passionate in all aspects of your life
  • You let me sleep in on the weekends
  • You never give up
  • You are decisive, successful and open-minded
  • You make me feel appreciated, heard, understood, cherished, beautiful, secure and honored
  • You encourage me to do the things I love and celebrate all my accomplishments with me
  • You steal my pillow because you like the way it smells
  • You are an amazing father
  • You have patience when I don’t
  • You are affectionate, caring and loving with me and our children
  • You watched our children being born without batting an eyelash
  • You are manly without being condescending or too macho
  • You never said so, but I could sense your discomfort as you watched me labor in pain during my births – I knew you would gladly have taken the pain on yourself
  • You are always gentle with our children
  • You always make time to pay complete attention to our children when they speak to you, even when they’re telling you something ridiculous
  • You never brush me off
  • You are a dreamer and share your dreams with me
  • When something random reminds me of a song and I just start singing it, you sing along with gusto
  • Your love of horror movies is both cute and (for me) horrifying
  • You have never judged me
  • You always make me feel special, important and intelligent
  • You never make a mess and leave it for me to clean up
  • You wrote me love letters when you were deployed in the Army
  • You’ve saved every letter I wrote to you when we were apart (and then hid them in your dresser drawer so I know they actually mean something to you)
  • You call me from work sometimes just to hear my voice and you freely admit that you miss me when we’ve only been apart for a few hours
  • You have made all of my memories of the last decade good ones
  • You call your mother every weekend
  • You are my hero, my rock, my protector
  • You let me switch sides of the bed when we moved so I didn’t have to sleep closest to the door
  • You always ask me if I need help with anything
  • You make me a better person
  • You ask my advice and actually listen
  • You talk to me about everything and I love feeling like I always know what’s going on in your head
  • You make me feel safe physically, emotionally and mentally
  • You are the best thing that has ever happened to me
  • You make everything better and brighter in my life
  • You still take my breath away
  • You are the best gift I have ever gotten
  • I can’t imagine my life without you in it
  • I wish that I could have more kids just to have more of you alive in this world
  • I will always feel so lucky that you’re mine
  • I will always forgive you when we argue
  • I am proud of you and proud to be with you
  • I admire your confidence
  • I respect your character and integrity
  • I feel like my life with you is a journey that keeps getting better and better the longer we walk side by side
  • I wish that I had met you sooner so that I could have loved you even longer
  • I will never stop looking for more words to tell you how wonderful you are
  • I will love you for the rest of my life
  • A thousand words of love will never be enough to describe all the things you do right and how much I feel for you

Re-blogged:10 Ways Having a Toddler is Like Being in Prison

I came across this blog post yesterday from dadandburied.com. After reading it to my husband, who fervently agreed with everything the author wrote, I found myself nodding my head and laughing. And then wishing we had our very own hotbox in which to place ourselves in solitary confinement.

In the Name of the Toddler: 10 Ways Having a Toddler is Like Being in Prison.

As the author, Mike Julianelle, professes, “Having kids is not all it’s cracked up to be.” No Mike, it really isn’t. So read this awesome blog post and laugh your ass off. And if you’re not a parent, laugh anyway. Because it’s all true!

I’m off to go read everything else this guy has blogged about. Later alligator!

The Force is With Me

Oh Book Blogger Challenge, I forgot to tell you that I get bored very easily. You haven’t read my 100+3 Things About Me blog post yet, have you? No matter. I will try to complete you, Blogger Challenge.

Image

Oh.

Of course, Master Yoda. I do. I will complete my Book Blogger Challenge.

Day 8: Write 15 bullet points of things that appeal to you on blogs.

Humor, honesty, real life, parenting rants, personal opinion, raw emotion, creativity, anything about writing, book recommendations, parenting advice, music reviews, movie reviews, stuff about marriage, and wuv, tru wuv…

Day 9: Why Do You Blog About Books?

I don’t. Not usually, anyway. But I do love to read.

Day 10: How do you choose what book to read next?

Goodreads.com is pretty good at recommending books I will like based on the things I have already read. I get most of my ideas about what to read next from Goodreads. I am also one of those people who will read anything an author I like has written. I will literally grab the entire block of paperbacks by one author from the library shelf and read them one by one. When I’ve exhausted that author’s book list, I move on to another. And I take recommendations from friends too.

Hasta la vista, baby. Hit me with some of your favorite lines from a movie! I got a FEVER! And the only prescription…is MORE COWBELL. (You can include TV quotes too.)

My Blogging Quirks

Ahhhhhh, Monday. Why do you and I hate each other so much? You are just so manic! Why can’t you be more like your brother, Friday? Oh well. Since we’re back to the beginning of the week, I guess I should get back to my Book Blogger Challenge.

Day Seven: Talk about your blogging quirks.

Quirks, huh? Let’s see… I have a penchant for big words and run-on sentences. Sarcasm, movie and music references. Fragments. (And I seem to be in love with using parentheses to express my remarks that go off on a tangent.)

When I started my blog, it was to sort of document my life with kids. Both for myself and for my family members that live in a galaxy far, far away. I used to worry about what I should be writing about vs what I wanted to write and I oftentimes did not write what I wanted to. I was worried that I was going to turn into a complainer or that those people that are struggling with infertility would get pissed that I was some mess of a woman who was lucky enough to be able to birth a child and boo to me. Then I went through the trauma of losing a baby. Well, it wasn’t until the second baby that I was traumatized. And I found that blogging about that raw pain was extremely cathartic. It embarrassed me to admit my weakness, but made me feel like a better person because I could.

Now, I guess I’m treating my blog like an online journal. I’m blogging about what I’m usually thinking about. And the days I’m not blogging, I’m probably not thinking about much of anything. Or I’m writing fiction, reading, cooking, or being a homebody. I’m having more fun with my blog now that I’m not caring about what people will think when they read it. No one else has lived my life, so they can go ahead and judge me if they want to. I know that they don’t have a clue.

Do you blog? Why did you start blogging? Are you still blogging for the same reasons?

Book Buying in the Post-Jurassic Era

I let my kids watch Jurassic Park today. I was feeling brave. They loved it. While we were watching it, I was trying to explain extinction to my kids in a way they would understand. I guess all they gathered is that all the dinosaurs were alive once and now they’re dead. This prompted the age old question: “Mom, were you born when dinosaurs were still alive?” Lovely. I laughed so hard I think I insulted my daughter’s intellectual curiosity. I may have also had spittle on my chin.

In Post-Jurassic news, I am continuing on with my Book Blogger Challenge.

Day Six: Describe how you shop for books.

I can answer this question two ways. How do I shop for books, as in, how do I buy books? Let’s see… um, I don’t. I check books out of the library. I have read 100 books since January 1st. I can’t afford to buy books. When I do buy them (and they have to cost $1.99 or less) I buy them on Amazon.com and read them on my Kindle. I used to go to bookstores, once upon a time. And then I had kids. Browsing is in the extinction category of my current life.

Second way to ask this question is: how do I select the books I read? Well, that’s easy. Genre. It depends on what kind of story I want to read. I rarely read non-fiction, but when I do, it’s about something interesting to me. I think I’ve read, maybe, 4 non-fiction books in the last 12 months. One of them was about health, one about parenting, one about Socio-Economics (don’t ask) and the last was about finding hope. With fiction, I started off the year reading straight up romances and Young Adult post-apocalyptic fiction. Right now I’m heavily into Urban Fantasy and I am quickly running out of authors to try. I’m reading through series like they’re going out of style.

What’s your favorite genre to read?