It’s been months now that I’ve been plagued with restlessness. I still haven’t found something to quiet it. I have all these things I want to get done, yet no desire to actually do the physical work.
I love to cook, but right now I dread cooking.
I love to write, but right now I dread writing. I’m forcing myself to write this blog post because if I was writing every time I was thinking about writing, I’d have written 100 novels by now. I have to start somewhere and all of you get to come along for the ride.
I love to read and yet I haven’t felt the desire to pick up a book. I even stopped reading partway through a book by one of my favorite authors because I just couldn’t get into it. What?! I’d been waiting 4 years for the book to come out, have been reading the series since 2003, and I struggled for 3 weeks to read 160 pages. Then I gave up and returned it to the library.
I bought some new CDs with birthday money I’d been hoarding since October. I think it’s been more than a year since I bought a CD. The only time I’ve listened to them is when I’ve been in the car with the kids.
Art projects are lining themselves up on my craft table (which is just a folding table I’ve set up in my office so I have a surface where I can leave unfinished projects). Scrapbooking, sewing, jewelry. I’ve scribbled some notes about book ideas in my journal. I’ve pulled a bunch of clutter off my bookshelves and started boxing things up with the crazy idea that I’m going to refinish my bedroom furniture, shelves included. I even have plans to build my own bed with some unwanted wood a friend has in her backyard.
Not one project has been finished.
I’m contemplating ripping out the carpeting in my living room and attempting to lay down laminate wood floors. Someone, please talk me out of it!
Mainely Sane 
i can relate to this so much…
I’m glad I’m not the only one!
Umm, well I’m not sure I can talk you out of the whole floor-laying thing. There’s just some sick part of me that wants to watch you do it. Sorry. I know that’s weird. Let’s see, the cooking thing is cool. I like to cook, but just need to make more time to figure out how the cooking thing works. It’s fun.
If you don’t want to do it, you don’t want to do it. I mean, you can’t really make yourself do it. At the end of the day we can talk all this stuff about how we love to do stuff, but in the end, we do what we love to do. Sure there are bouts. Maybe that’s what you’re going through – about, you know?
Here’s how I would break it down – comfort. Comfort is a killer. After a graduate degree I vowed to get back into video games because I haven’t owned a console since high school. I enjoy them so much that I knew that I couldn’t do school and game at the same time, so I chose school. I told myself that I would just get school done and I could game as much as I wanted.
So I did it. Got the game system.
Now what.
Working out? Exercise? Eating right?
Fuck that – gone. It’s over.
(to self) Oh it’s not gone; no I can get it back whenever I want.
(voice of Truth) Psh! Save it, brother. Just take hold of your controller and have a Kit-Kat.
It’s weird.
You just need to count all the projects you have going on and pick one you want. I mean give them all mental auditions. Whichever one wins is the one you keep. That’s right, take all the others and toss ’em. No matter how much your brains says, “Nooooo, I need that!” don’t give in. Stick with one project. One. And finish it. When it’s done, go to the next one.
Boom! Done! Thank you, Stribling.
I am curious about the book, though. What series are you reading that you’ve been waiting for four years for the book to come out. Did you ever think that maybe it was the author? Maybe it was just that the book sucked. Was that it?
Get back at it, man. Father Time waits for no one. You can’t get to the last day of your life and look back and say, “Shit, I should have done some more stuff instead of just sitting there.”