Killing Time

I sectioned off this time without kids to work on my manuscript, but I’m just not feeling it. I need to do a lot of re-writing and I’m not in the writing kind of mood. The only thing I really feel like doing lately is a whole lot of nothing.

I’ve been spending a lot of time worrying about my daughter. Like how to keep her safe. Guess who figured out how to shut off the alarms on the doors? Hooray to Kindergarten for teaching her to read, and hooray to me for having a daughter who is clever enough to read the word “off” and click the switch in that direction. But boo to the fact that my clever little girl doesn’t have any fear and doesn’t make good choices. And suffers from insomnia and can do I-don’t-want-to-know what while the rest of us are sleeping.

I never realized that being a parent would make you feel so helpless. As much as I want to, I can’t control my kids’ actions. Maybe I can control some little things, like what time they eat, what time they go to bed, but the big stuff is out of my hands. Like making friends and making the “right” choices. Like being safe when I’m not right there to protect them. It’s maddening!


3 thoughts on “Killing Time

  1. Since you are just killing time, I’ve put your mom on a bus to Portland to visit. She really misses you and the kids. I’ll pick her up the 3rd week of June. Her bus arrives tomorrow morning at 9:30 at the station on Congress Street.

    • I was killing time until I had to pick up your grandson from school. And if mom is on her way to Portland, we may just be on our way someplace far from Portland. 6 weeks is 5 weeks and 5 days too long of a visit!

  2. Love it! Payback really is a b****! (There once was a little girl who would run out of the store when I was shopping with her. Hmmmmmm.)

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