Is there a such thing as happy hormones? Because I can tell you for sure that there are sad hormones. Every woman knows this. What I’ve learned in the last few weeks is that the progesterone in birth control pills can make me sad.
I haven’t been blogging a lot recently. I haven’t been doing any writing at all. Or much of anything else either. Because I was feeling so low and so uninterested in anything that only my motherly obligations were getting me out of bed each morning. So I called my “drug” doctor and she told me that maybe my birth control pill was making me so depressed that my anti-depressant couldn’t make up the difference. So I called my doctor and asked her if I could change pills (which I’m taking to prevent migraines). Apparently there are two different types of progesterone. She switched me to the other type. I immediately got a migraine. But the longer I’m taking this new progesterone, the happier I’m getting. (And so far I’ve only had the one migraine.) Makes you think, doesn’t it? Isn’t it grand to be a woman?
I ordered this book that my “drug” doctor was referencing when she was telling me that it might be the progesterone I was taking that was causing my new depression. I’ve been convinced that my hormones have been wonky for the past two years. There is no other way for me to explain the marriage of my perfect health, my “beautiful uterus” (in the fertility doctor’s own words) and my 4 back-to-back miscarriages. And yet, every time I have my hormones checked, the doctors tell me that they are normal. My theory is that maybe my body just doesn’t conform to typical standards and the typical “normal” just isn’t normal for me. Or maybe my hormones have made me so crazy that I think I know what the hell that I’m taking about with zero medical schooling under my belt. All I know is that I am feeling great.
Maybe now I can get back to my writing and start enjoying the living of my life again. Although I have to say, I’m viewing menopause in a terrifying new light. Can I just stop getting older please?