When I was newly out of college, single, and living alone, I devised a brilliant new business idea: the Rent-A-Mom. The idea came to me one day while I was home sick from work. Laying sick on my couch with a bucket, no crackers or Ginger Ale in my house, I thought, “I really need my mom”. Too bad my mom lived 7 hours and a few states away. Enter the idea of Rent-A-Mom. Much like Rent-A-Maid, you’d call a local number, and your Mom would show up, make you broth, set you up with a TV tray filled with Saltines and flat Ginger Ale, wipe your sweaty brow, clean your dirty sickbed clothes, rinse out your bucket and tuck you in a warm blanket before leaving. Doesn’t that just sound divine? Never again would you be sick and alone with no one to care for you.
Now I’m a mom. And I’m sick. But my mom still lives 7 hours and a few states away. My husband is at work. It is almost lunchtime, and all I’ve managed to do today is make the kids breakfast and get them dressed. I had plans to go grocery shopping this morning since I’ll be gone all day tomorrow for a prior commitment. But after ten minutes of trying to corral the kids and get them dressed, I noticed it was snowing. And the thought of getting them into snowpants and boots in addition to the jackets, hats and gloves just pushed me over the edge of exhaustion. Not to mention the fact that after giving birth to 2 kids, my bladder isn’t what it used to be. One coughing fit in public will probably cause me to pee my pants just a little. So snow, 2 kids, sickness and possible wet undies all in order to spare my husband a grocery shopping trip tomorrow morning alone with the kids? No way. Sorry hubby, but you’re out of luck.
I’m sitting here, with a potty next to my desk because Chase is on week one of potty training. Caylie is running around in her new glasses and keeps pulling off her eye patch that she needs to wear 6 hours a day. Chase is running around with no pants. So I am, in essence, literally chasing after my kids today to keep an eye patch in place, and all bodily functions in a potty. I could really use that Rent-A-Mom right about now. Forget about stocking me up with food , clean clothes and a warm blanket. I just want to lay down.